Sunday, 26 April 2015

Poetry Hallway - Poverty Knocker

Five pounds please! Tonight's Poetry Hallway is falling apart and we can't get it fixed unless you pay. I said we can't get it fixed unless you pay.


I'm waiting...


Oh have it your own way. Keep your coat on. It's fair to say that poetic stalwart, Limpit Smike, has been stockpiling his ideas recently -

LIMPIT: Is it time for one of mine now?

Yes, in a moment, we'll be -

LIMPIT: Because I notice you print all of... Croyland's poems, and none of mine.

Well that's not quite true, we had one of yours just a few -

LIMPIT: I'd like to say something now.

OK that's fine. Here's one about the poor.

LIMPIT: No, not the poor - poverty. Which is spelt almost the same as poetry. As a poet I can spot these things.

Poverty Knocker by Limpit Smike

It clambers round the house
Scratches up the door
Smears up all the walls
Throws things on the floor

It's called poverty
And it wants its way
It's called poverty
I must shoo it away

It ruins all the food
Cuts off all the gas
Farts in every room
Cancels all the plans

It's called poverty
Makes monkeys out of men
Sick and thick with fleas
I must not be like them

It wears out all the threads
Sells the lovely stuff
Leaving only bread
Makes you just a scruff

Back off poverty!
 Stick your long nose right out
Lavish becomes me
I will not be a lout

I protect all my pounds
I work hard on my wealth
Money has the power
Of and by itself
I will not succumb
To cheap and dirty ways
My King Yacht will come
And I shall sail away

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