Merchandise Roundworm - Iceni double-crescent T-shirt

It's true, folks, we are spirits in the material world, and quite right too with modern living such a rum business and regularly rather whisky to life and limb. Tequila few idle moments, vodka look at this rather brandy rundown and maybe schnapps up a few items. Cheers!

Change can be a wonderful thing. Especially when you donate it to the makers of the following wonderful products. With Halloween, Guy Fawkes' Night and Christmas just around the corner, it's a perfect time to stock up on treats. There's room for a hundred of them, if you chuck out all your existing clothes and music (Check this. Ed).

Iceni double-crescent T-shirt

Iceni double-crescent T-shirt, by Gaffamondo
(Redbubble).

Become a fearsome and phwooar-some Iceni warrior with this striking historically-accurate design from the fevered fingers of noted palaeo-gusher, Gaffamondo. Wear this on your human flesh and feel the centuries fall away. Soon you'll be ready to sack the Romans! Buy this design on a sexy T-shirt, soothing duvet, or even a set of sturdy coasters, here: https://www.redbubble.com/people/gaffamondo/works/20408590-iceni-double-crescent?p=t-shirt

He doesn't stop there, either: the talented boy has a whole heap of designs pertaining to the Ancient Britons. Get stuck in - perfect gifts for your archaeology and LARPing friends.

Meanwhile, in the sickening shallow money trench of indie music...

Star Test

We entrusted noted 80s throwback and anorak, B. Pillock, with a sparkling copy of the latest EP by socialist poet Andrew Walton, The Art of Splitting, on compact disc. Mr Pillock had this to mumble:

"It's a good length: 4.7 inches. There are six tracks, which makes each track 1.27". No - hang on - 0.78". Great economy, like haiku, but these poems are longer, and most are songs, not poems. I tried eating my dinner off it but just got sticky sweet chilli sauce in the stereo. Is that enough?" (No. Ed)

Well, quite. Why not try Mr Walton's wry leftist lyrics and super-brief tunes for yourself?

Back of the Rack

Stuck for a stocking filler? Try these beautiful selections. That Gaffamondo pulls together two months of dinosaur drawings in A Disarray of Palaeoart ... Keshco's 2018 Cassette Store Day release was Never Eject ... See you shortly, folks!

Merchandise Roundworm - Beware! floral design by Circuitsnap

Alright, hop-skippers. There are a few questions that regularly get asked of your friendly Beware! editorial team - often when we're out and about, bouncing and bopping at a local free jazz gig; squatting and grunting behind the car park; or wobbling and prodding at the top of a ladder defacing Tory billboards. It all gets a bit loud and pointy at times, but we welcome the attention, because we're filthy beasts.

One of your chief questions relates to merchandise, our merchandise. "Is there any?" you ask. Well! Today, faithful follower, you are in luck. Also tomorrow. But hey, slurp whilst the stew's hot.

Your editors and contributors have collectively and singularly got a whole houseful of purchasable products to show and tell. We're going to start this new merchandising infestation (Column, surely? Ed) with a wearable and shareable item that relates specifically to this blog:

Beware! T-shirt (/mug/miniskirt/duvet etc)

Beware! The Zine design, on a T-shirt (Circuitsnap)

It's true folks, you too can wear this exquisitely delicious neo-psychedelia-inspired floral design that features our name loud and proud. It's been released by Circuitsnap, the arty alter-ego of half our editors.

Find it here for worldwide purchases on frillions of different surfaces: Beware! Floral Collage Logo at Redbubble

Also on Amazon in the US, specifically as a T-shirt: Beware! The Zine floral collage T-shirt at Amazon

Buying this design is a pretty fab way of supporting our efforts in bringing high-quality investigative journalism to the masses (Check this. Ed) and helping us stave off the bailiffs for another month.

Star Test

We asked local anorak B. Pillock to review this very design, and they mumbled a bit and then sent the following missive by scrunched-up till receipt:

"They only ask me to annoy me. I couldn't eat my dinner off it as it wouldn't fit in the crisp packet. I mean it's an alright image I suppose, it's got six letters and one piece of punctuation (I favour the latter), and over a dozen flower shapes at disconcerting angles. No particular odour. How many words do I have left? Can I mention my new" (Sniiiip! Ed.)

Back of the Rack

Meanwhile you can follow the arty endeavours of the other editorial 50% at Redbubble: Gaffamondo ... Here are a couple of his highly-chucklesome books at Lulu: Dear Annick When Fandoms Collide ... MoMoJaJa is a family art project with more designs than you can shake your foot at, again via Redbubble ... Cult band Keshco have a ton of EPs to download (featuring all our contributors) at Bandcamp ... Poetry contributor Drew Walton has a couple of pithy and impassioned collections, also at Lulu. See you soon, folks!